Glutton for punishment?

You'd think I'd learn after my first attempt at starting my own retail business. It was such an epic fail that I should be banned from even trying to start another one LOL Ugh! I'm a horrible sales person. I can sell words and ideas, but retail products... well, I can't bring myself to lie about how good an item is when I didn't make it or have experience with it.

When I worked at Dillard's I had to sell watches. If a customer knew what they wanted, no problem. really know anything about. It was always about selling the highest priced item the customer could afford and the Gucci watches were always the first ones I had to show. Maybe if I'd had a supervisor or a senior employee, who had a lot of experience with watches, training or working with me I would've done better.

When a customer came in asking for the "best" or "longest lasting", I knew what to say, I just couldn't bring myself to convince them to have confidence in an item I didn't

Then there was the wholesale/retail business I had with my dad. He convinced me to start a business using products from a late night infomercial. It sounded simple. Buy at wholesale prices (which were actually really cheap) and sell at any price above that. I could buy full sized swords for $12 and sell them for $80! The problem was that I didn't feel right about selling the cheaply made, albeit nice
looking, products for prices much higher than I bought them for. They really were crap items. Shit wrapped in glittering paper. It seemed everyone in the world was selling the same things I was, even on eBay, where I sold a little Cherub set for $8, bought for $4.50. I didn't profit because of the shipping cost. Go me and my horrible math skills! At least I was good at keeping records. Total loss ended up being a couple grand. (As an aside, while looking up photos of cherubs to post here, I ran across this site. Freaky!)

And here I am again. Starting another business so I have something to do. This time, I'm selling my own handmade items. At least these I can stand behind. I still can't sell them for much more than what I bought the materials for and I have no idea how much my time is worth to add to the product's price. We'll just have to see how this turns out. At least my web host has given me around $250 to spend on Twitter, Google and Facebook advertising. I'm hoping to take advantage of social media this time, something I didn't have before. I want to sell at local conventions and festivals too. I just don't know how I'm going to do it with my chronic pain issues.

I don't plan on getting rich, I just want to offload all the things I'll be making since I don't have room to keep them all LOL! Okay, and earn some spending cash for the movies or something. Maybe that'll help too, being in a different mindset. I still think I'm crazy for even trying. I got through registering my business with the PA Dept of Revenue though, so I guess I should at least see it all the way through. I got my fingers crossed that I do good this time and can make a little extra spending cash.

All Done, I Think

Decided on making this blog public, kind of encouraged by a few peeps on Twitter. So I had to go through and edit some stuff (like names...) and move posts from one (I have 4) blogs to this one. This will be my main blog. I won't be separating things into separate blogs anymore, you'll just have to take the dark with the light and the "norm" with the geekiness. Though, I haven't moved my WoW posts here. RP stays with RP.

Now that I'm done, and my wrists have been sufficiently tortured, I'm going to lay down!

P.S. Sorry to those who got blasted with emails, I've rectified the problem LOL

For Those Without Chronic Pain

TIPS FOR DEALING WITH PEOPLE IN PAIN

1. People with chronic pain seem unreliable (we can’t count on ourselves). When feeling better we promise things (and mean it); when in serious pain, we may not even show up.

2. An action or situation may result in pain several hours later, or even the next day. Delayed pain is confusing to people who have never experienced it.

3. Pain can inhibit listening and other communication skills. It’s like having someone shouting at you, or trying to talk with a fire alarm going off in the room. The effect of pain on the mind can seem like attention deficit disorder. So you may have to repeat a request, or write things down for a person with chronic pain. Don’t take it personally, or think that they are stupid.

4. The senses can overload while in pain. For example, noises that wouldn’t normally bother you, seem too much.

5. Patience may seem short. We can’t wait in a long line; can’t wait for a long drawn out conversation.

6. Don’t always ask “how are you” unless you are genuinely prepared to listen it just points attention inward.

7. Pain can sometimes trigger psychological disabilities (usually very temporary). When in pain, a small task, like hanging out the laundry, can seem like a huge wall, too high to climb over. An hour later the same job may be quite OK. It is sane to be depressed occasionally when you hurt.

8. Pain can come on fairly quickly and unexpectedly. Pain sometimes abates after a short rest. Chronic pain people appear to arrive and fade unpredictably to others.

9. Knowing where a refuge is, such as a couch, a bed, or comfortable chair, is as important as knowing where a bathroom is. A visit is much more enjoyable if the chronic pain person knows there is a refuge if needed. A person with chronic pain may not want to go anywhere that has no refuge (e.g.no place to sit or lie down).

10. Small acts of kindness can seem like huge acts of mercy to a person in pain. Your offer of a pillow or a cup of tea can be a really big thing to a person who is feeling temporarily helpless in the face of encroaching pain.

11. Not all pain is easy to locate or describe. Sometimes there is a body-wide feeling of discomfort, with hard to describe pains in the entire back, or in both legs, but not in one particular spot you can point to. Our vocabulary for pain is very limited, compared to the body’s ability to feel varieties of discomfort.

12. We may not have a good “reason” for the pain. Medical science is still limited in its understanding of pain. Many people have pain that is not yet classified by doctors as an officially recognized “disease”. That does not reduce the pain, – it only reduces our ability to give it a label, and to have you believe us.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Updateage

So much has happened since I last wrote. Bad things. I won't go over them here, I'm just glad its all done and over with! It's a new year and last year ended on a great note and this year has been great so far! Karma rules!

Reconnected with Heather and Toby on Facebook, awesomesauce! Participated in a writing competition with them in November and, because we're uberfantastic, we all won! Although I am far from finishing my story. It was put on hold because the issue I'm dealing with at the ending of part one is very touchy and, if not handled correctly, could destroy the entire story and things in part two! There's a ton of gunpowder on a wooden bridge and I have to cross it with a flaming torch. EEEEEEK!

In game news, I joined my DK into a really great raiding guild, Templar, and opened our leveling guild, Clan Woad, to all RP toons and gave my DK her own RP blog. Former members of Woad have joined in Clan which makes me happier than can be! Clan Woad was the name of our guild back in the Diablo/UO Beta days (nearly 15 years ago!)

How about that car there? I don't like BMWs but the World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King artwork is awesome! Wonder if the guy plays a DK?

 
I also spotted this on the net, seriously, I wanna play with these people in the game as they share my passion for The Lich King! And hubby thought I was little too passionate LOL these people outdo me by miles! Not only is the dude with the Lich King license plate one lucky SOB, he's even luckier to be wearing epic loot! Although I can't see Arthas driving an SUV or a beemer...


Health-wise, still not getting any better, although, if I had been able to see a doctor I'd probably be right as rain about now. As it stands, I can't even vacuum without hours of pain afterward. Health insurance through the contractor my hubby is employed through is so ridiculously expensive that we can't afford the co-pay and 20% that isn't covered.

However! Hubby's is now back, after being screwed over by someone and their drug habit, in the good graces of the company he is contracted with and will hopefully get hired on permanently soon! It was scary there for a while. Hubby almost lost his job, which would've meant we'd lose this house. No one ever listens to me. People get this "That won't happen to me" idea in their heads and it drives me crazy to know people are that stupid. Stupid people need to stay out of my life, especially when they put us in that kind of situation. Unforgivable in my opinion. Hubby doesn't like conflict, neither do I, so we agreed to just put that crap behind us and move forward.

Ugh, enough touching on the "bad stuff". If hubby gets hired on permanently that means we don't pay any premium for health insurance, the company takes care of it! Sweet! So even though taking a perma job with them will mean a pay cut, that's $700 less we have to pay a month for health insurance so we'll actually see MORE money and I can go to a doctor to take care of the knees, back, pinched nerve,figuring out my aches and pains and lack of cartilage in my neck! I don't know what I did a couple days ago but my neck is swollen and very tender right now, like it's a huge bruise. Ice hasn't helped. I do need a better pillow though, mine's about 4 years old.

Movies you all should be looking forward to:

Moon (out on DVD finally!)
Source Code
Warcraft
And a movie that has to do with this Celtic barbarian dude with a wicked axe! (okay, that may be a ways off)

We have to do taxes today, it'll be the first time we've done taxes as homeowners! Here's to hoping its a decent return!

Seriously? And The Party

Let me get something straight here. I'm an NOT a partyer. On occasion, I don't mind a good party or night out at a club. But going every week, is tedious, don't like it. I prefer staying home and watching tv or playing a good computer game. Alcohol, even at home, is a rarity. I used to drink more often than not, but it got old and I grew out of it, so its another thing I don't do much. Getting stupid with friends is fun, getting stupid alone, is just pathetic.

I HATE talking on the phone all day. I don't make many phone calls. In fact, I haven't called anyone in the past three weeks. Text me, Tweet me, Email me... don't call me, unless you're in my top 5 (or its an emergency) and don't expect me to call you just to shoot the shit. Catching up, fine, to be a rejected Seinfeld episode, no.

I'm not goth. And I know by making that statement it makes me "Oh so goth!" but seriously, whatever. I like the aesthetic, the art, the architecture and I used to like what the subculture stood for, but the scene has since been over run by cheerleaders wearing black and sniveling little brats who think the world revolves around them. No thanks. Keep your cliques and self-pity to yourselves, it goes against everything us post-punk era mainstream rejects believed in.

Onward.

THE PARTY

So I had this dream, seems I've been having a lot of weird dreams lately, about a singer I know and his fiance. They were in London for a reunion tour with his old band and had planned to get married there in the UK, for his mother's sake as she's too old to make the trip to the US. I'm there, along with one of my friends. There's this lavish party at said singer's friend's house, the singer's friend happens to be the father of someone I know. We're all having a good time. Things go great, especially for the soon to be married couple. Until my friend embarrasses the fuck out of me by being an attention whore. Thankfully, the "someone I know", helps me escape the nonsense for some peaceful, quiet, laid back time. Typical dream about some real life issues, until I tell someone about it and was given some striking info.

1) I did not know said singer was friends with my friend's dad.
2) I did not know there was going to be a reunion with the band.
3) I did not know singer's mother was too old to make the trip to the US.

Odd.

Break

Taking a break from the internets.

Saw "Watchmen" at a drive in theatre (they're everywhere here), it was awesome! Saw Dr Manhattan and the first thing I thought was "Throw a kilt on him, he's done (Dun)!" I guess only I would get that joke.

Heading out to Cali on Thurs, hopefully be back a week later. Flying in, driving out. Driving the 'Rents here to their new home.

One majorly delightful part of this trip will be that I'm going to meet my little sister for the first time! (Technically the 2nd but I don't think 30 mins as babies really counts!) YAY!

And I'm thoroughly enraptured with Twitter! I may just get rid of my MySpace.

Voltaire Interview

It was such a joy to interview Voltaire! It airs this afternoon and tonight on WCUC.

Letting the chips fall

Medication, or the lack thereof, can either be the most helpful thing to a person, or the worst. Granted, there's a lot of misdiagnosing going on, children needlessly being poisoned because their parents are too busy to deal with their behavioral issues. Want less hassle? Zombify the kids. Every lackluster parents' answer to their child's incessant curiosity and boundless energy, "My kid has ADHD!" or some other label to explain away their child's lack of manners, social ettiquette, lack of respect for authority, question everything nature... start in the home to find soultions to those "problems" before looking to get that "magic pill". Some kids need the help, most don't, they're just being kids.

Then you have the adults, ones who've been on medication all their lives for a single problem, like ADD, and the older they get, the more medication they're handed to cope with whatever is ailing them; insomnia, heart problems, arthritis, liver damage, muscle soreness, I'm sure they have a pill that makes you like brussel sprouts too, isn't there one for every "ailment" known to mankind?

But when does taking these medications and feeling the way one does, become habit? It takes approximately 21 days to form a new habit.... what about 21 years? Being originally diagnosed when they're a kid, how many actually go and get re-evaluated. The problem with the psychiatrists and psychologist, is that as long as you have a history of having a certain problem, they won't bother to re-evaluate you unless: 1) they care more for the patient than the money and kick backs, 2) you ask for a re-evaluation and fight to get one done (which may or may not lead to being put on more medication for being aggressive and non-compliant) or 3) They ignore the original problem altogether to label you for new ones.

Furthermore, you're never put on just one medication, eventually your medicine cabinet will resemble that of a small pharmaceutical quality control room, with one medication to counteract the side effects of another and another to counteract the side effects of the one used to counteract side effects of the first little poison pill you're given, so on and so forth. See where I'm going with this? Its the snow ball effect. Soon you're taking so many pills that your stomach actually fills up and thinks you're eating food, culling your appetite even futher but then reeling back in horror at the fact there are no vitamins or proteins to distribute to the body. Solution: more pills, of the supplement variety.

You leave one downward spiral for another and get caught in the proverbial catch-22. If you stop taking your pills, your body goes into shock, your brain tries to compensate for an endocrine system that's been suppressed for years, if not decades, neurotransmitters go haywire, like ants with a caved in tunnel, flooding the body with monoamines racing full throttle through the twisted nether of the circulatory system, trying in vane to stabilize everything, which, in short, makes you go temporarily neurotic. Depression, paranoia, anger...

The only way to stop the madness is to fuck it all, wean yourself off, learn some self control... impossible when your future hangs in the balance and depends on everything you have on the table at this very moment. There are no breaks, no way to seclude yourself, no chance of delaying projects and commitments, no time to make health a number one priority in this dog eat dog industry.

Ultimate solution, move to France.

Those of us who witness the ups and downs in our beloved friends are sometimes left with a spirit so shredded and mangled you might as well add milk and eat it for breakfast. Wanting to help, but not wanting to exacerbate the problem by encouraging more pill popping. Listening to the tirades, the outburst of anger, the loathing of self-pity and doubt. Sometimes we sit in a dark corner with our friend, holding on to their huddled, sobbing mass as tightly as we can, lest the winds of agony carry them off to drown in a sea of despair and failed dreams, rocking them back and forth in an attempt to throw them a life preserver of comfort and hope; to shine a light into the darkness encompassing their soul.

The worst of it is not being able to be there, in person. You can't slap a face, hide the bullets, dull the knives, stop traffic or make duct tape as useful as ever. Wrecked with worry, fear, heartache, anger; helpless to do anything except leave messages when the phone isn't answered or the login id is not signed in... frantically dialing every number you can think of to try and get a small army to the rendezvous point and start the search for a lost soul wandering the streets of Santa Monica and lending moral support and a comforting voice to the nerve wrecked pregnant wife sitting at home wondering what the hell went wrong ("Well you see hon, back in high school..."), keep her occupied, keep her mind off it. All the while keeping it on the down low so the drama starved press won't have a field day playing hacky sack with the feelings of a tormented celebrity. Faith, trying to put faith in that the universe will do what needs to be done and hoping that includes bringing him home safe, sane and alive, is getting harder to keep a grip on the longer this takes.

All's quiet on the txting front... no news is supposed to be good news... not in this case.

Edit: So as soon as I posted this, I got good news. Everything's okay, he decided to sit on a hillside to watch the sunrise and was making his way back home. So, he's somewhat good. Thank you universe!

The Updates

Anyway, after running the gauntlet of the economically impaired real estate market and viewing the house today to make sure things were repaired in proper order, all the while driving through a seriously intense snow storm (sent by Bob the Bray, fucker!) in which drivers of the less intelligent persuasion were skidding and sliding off the road as they passed us; I can safely say, the house is OURS! Monday we sign closing papers and get our keys. But get this, I must've done some pretty good shit in the eyes of the cosmic wonder and am reaping the rewards, we're actually getting money BACK, that's right folks, nearly $800 back from our $2k earnest money deposit. So instead of sending hubby down with a check for closing, they'll be handing us one. Maybe it was the harrowing ordeal of having to grit my teeth and not complain as the VA stuck a proverbial knife into my gut and twisted it around with all their frustratingly sweet apologies for the delays.

So here's the house:


We plan on moving in next week, although there's no guarantee on when internet will be hooked up, just yet; we still need to get two stoves and one fridge.

Also, I found this online while skipping merrily oblivious down the sewage drain of memory lane. Hil-fucking-larious and too damn close for comfort.

Somewhere, somehow they all got chewed up and spit back out. They don't taste like living anymore. Don't you see what's it's like living in this deranged, weary blender of a world? Every day is an agonizing ordeal, like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip your legs and butt. Ah, you never forget your senior prom. You think I'm sick? Well the only disease I've got is modern life, a shnug-busting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of letdowns, putdown, trickledowns, shutouts, freezeouts, sellouts, numbnuts, nickenputz and nimrods! All making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue! And even if you do luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure, like say if some nimphomaniac telephone operator with the muscle control of Romanian matslappers agree to a little strip air-hockey, it will be over before it starts, cuz some foul lacking, fedder reeking cab-jockey slams his checker up your hatchback and the cab is owned by some pinata spanker from a Santaria culpa a culpa who starts shaking chicken bones at you and gives you a boil on your neck so big that all it needs is Michael Jordan's autograph to make it complete! And even with all this, with all this! I still drag my sorry butt off the sealy every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day! Knowing when it's time to flash the cosmic card key at those pearly gates, I won't be in the coffin anyways, because some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, pancreas and other assorted good and plenty to that same Santaria cult! So does anybody really wonder why anybody is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails, while life dirty dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder THAT I SEEM DERANGED? - Duckman

I forgot how much we loved that show and now I'm seriously missing Cornfed!

Tooodles, lovlies!

Moon!

Pride is too weak a description for what I feel right now! Hopefully we'll reconnect at some point.

MOON

Sci-Fi Thriller from Liberty Films (picked up by Sony), starring Sam Rockwell coming May 25th 2009! This will be Duncan Jones' directorial debut!

In Moon, Sam Bell is a contract miner who's been sent to the moon Selene for 3 years to harvest an important gas that will end Earth's energy problems. Bell is a troubled man with a short temper, but the last 3 years have taught him how to control his emotions. At the end of his time Bell is excited to return home and see his wife and daughter. But towards towards the end of his stay he starts seeing and hearing things. Bell discovers that the company he's working for, Lunar, plans on replacing him in its own fashion, and it sounds like cloning or time travel is afoot.

****
"I'm finally directing my first feature film, a grown up piece of science fiction starring the incredibly lovely and talented Sam Rockwell. I would very much like to use your tentacle-like reach to get this bit of news out to the world at large.

We have just finished the first week of production in London and the film is already looking pretty damn special. Think "some sci-fi classic from the 70s that somehow was over-looked and has only now been unearthed."

I'll try and stop by every week or two and give you another tidbit, if you like, but in return, if you could get the rumor-mill going, through the Internets, the IMMDBs, the Aint-It-Cools, the gossip sites and to your mates in general... to any place you think would help get tongues wagging, I would be most appreciative! More than that... I would love you long time. Hope you're all well!

Yours, covered in film stock and very 70’s beard, Duncan Jones." (Taken from www.bebo.com/themoviecalledmoon)

Pass it on folks!
www.liberty-films.co.uk/

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

No, I'm not stuttering, I have that damn David Bowie song stuck in my head.

I'm really not sure where to start. Reminiscing about last year maybe? I'm trying to avoid writing work. I'm just not in the mood. Lack of sleep, stress over the house, recovering from the NYC/Queens Trip, getting some educational stuff in for the kids.

So, 1994, teen angst, teen alcoholism, depression.... time travel. Okay, it'll work somehow. I picked a city to base it in, researched the geography and local hangouts. Yeah, now I gotta remember all the crap that happened in High School so I can relay that into my characters.

Next, part 2 of a previous project, in 3 episodes. Estranged daughter, secrets of life, alien technology... yeah, that'll eventually work itself out too... at 4am in the morning, waking me from a dead sleep and prompting an 18 hour marathon of writing, deleting, editing, writing, editing, re-writing! Ugh. Why can't I live near a Coffee Bean?

Then--there's always a last bit that makes things seem over the top--I have a script to write about a mass grave, psychotic cults and the search for blood relations, where "blood" plays a significant part. Gruesome, thrilling, twisted and right up my alley.

The worst of it, being someplace I'm not 100% comfortable writing in. Can't get my groove going. Its not like I can wake up at that 4am calling and come out here to write in a t-shirt and underwear. I'm hoping to be in my house in two weeks, tops. Crossing fingers, toes, eyes, arms, legs and anything else that can be crossed, except my mother!

I finally set up WinAmp, a requirement for writing, because I hate Windows Media Player.

Highlight of the weekend: Met John Ford and Ian Lloyd. I don't really know who they are, but I met them at the Cutting Room. Oh, I also met some more of my biological family and made plans for the NY Comicon and the I-Con.

And I just got the call I was expecting about ANOTHER writing project... not committing yet.

Calgon......